The State of the Scrapbooking Union
Life Lessons from a Mother of Sons, Part II

Life Lessons from a Mother of Sons, Part I

You may have seen the "life lessons" email from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

> Things I've learned from my Boys  (honest and not kidding):

> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4inches deep.

> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft.  room.

> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the  ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late

> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a  fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old Boy.

> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

> 12.) Super glue is forever.

> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

> 14.) Pool filters do not like  Jell-O.

> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they  do.

> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

> 20.) The fire department in  Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Well, I forwarded that email on to a guy at work, child 3 of 9 (6 boys and 3 girls), saying I'd like to hear some Life Lessons from his mom.  He responded and I about pee'd my pants.  His responses will be in the next blog post, so this won't get too long.


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