Book of Me Backstory

backstory: the history behind the situation existant at the start of the main story

I was talking with someone about Book of Me recently, and she asked me (basically) why I wrote it.  This really belongs on a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) because it's probably the question I get most often.  And I realized that, even with all the interviews I've done over the past several years, I haven't really "gone public" with how the book really came to be.

My publisher Elaine always rolls her eyes and gives me a bit of a shove when I give my usual answer -- I started working on a Book of Me scrapbook in 2001, and in the process, shared it with friends at crops.  They told me they had never done a page about themselves. As I was gathering resources to work on my own album, I decided to put it all together in one place and write a book. I researched the book proposal process and sent one out to several publishers.  That is how it happened, but a very condensed version of the story.  My publisher Elaine doesn't think my Reader's Digest version of why I wrote the book really does the real 'backstory' justice.  So...here's the Real Story.

This backstory could have the subtitle, How A 30-Year-Old Mother of Two Saved Her Own Life With Scrapbooking, because that's basically what happened.

After staying home with my children for six years, I began to have an identity crisis. Or what I now refer to as an “anti-identity crisis”. I felt like my life could be summed up in my roles of wife and mother. That’s all there was to me. Period. 

Do you ever feel that way? Like you’ve lost track of who you were “before”, and who you are now?

As I went about my days, I found myself thinking about all the tasks and chores and errands I did. I wondered if there was anything special about the fact that I was doing them. I felt like we could hire someone to do the dishes and the laundry and the cooking and running errands, and I wouldn’t even be missed. I felt like I had failed to make a mark, and I could easily be replaced. I even thought about taking my own life.

I can vividly remember one night, laying in bed, crying uncontrollably, and thinking about going to the store to buy sleeping pills.  But I couldn't stop crying long enough to go get them (and didn't figure they'd sell sleeping pills to a hysterical, crying woman, anyway).  It's strange now to think that not being able to stop crying may have saved my life.

But instead of ending my life, I decided to scrap it. 

Instead of abandoning my husband and two kids, and taking myself out of their lives, I decided to share myself with them more fully.  I decided to give them the gift only I could give -- My stories.

I started working on a scrapbook about myself.  It became a tool to showcase what made me unique, and all that I valued about my life.  And it quite literally saved my life.  Because right there in front of me, created by my own hand, was proof that my life was worth living, remembering, and celebrating.

As I showed this album to my friends, I saw that they were almost startled -- so many of my friends had never thought of doing a page about themselves, let alone actually done one.  Just like me, they were also absent from their own albums. 

As much as I enjoyed the process of creating my Book of Me, and when I recognized how healing the process had been for me, I realized other scrappers might be searching for ways to create such a book for themselves.  I wanted to help them by providing a roadmap for them to follow, compiling all the resources I had drawn on. 

I became absolutely passionate about helping other women tell their stories -- about helping them not feel replaceable, helping them not feel invisible in their own lives.  I didn't want other women to feel the same emptiness, the same hopelessness, the same feeling of being lonely even surrounded by loved ones.  I wanted to help them work through that -- not just past it, but THROUGH it.  And if you've attended any of my classes, you'll know that passion is still there, and that I care deeply about the stories of each of my students -- because their stories are much the same as mine, and I see myself in them.

So, this book was born. 

And now you know the Real Story. 

I bet you have a Real Story, too.

Comments

[BJ]

Very glad you decided to write the book. :)

[Pam]

Thank you for sharing this great story! It makes me want to get moving on my own BOM with much more vigor and enthusiasm. Personally what I've done is typed out each of the questions or layout themes on small slips of paper and placed them into a big jar that sits near my scrapping desk. I've included all the themes and layout ideas from your book as well as some others that I knew I wanted to do, plus some others I found on the net. Then at least once a week (well... that's my goal) I pull out a slip of paper and scrap whatever the BOM topic is for that week. It's the same idea as a journal jar, but only it's my BOM jar. This method makes it easier for me to get pages done because I'm not agonizing over which layout to do next - it's a random decision and my own rules dictate that I must scrap whichever theme I pull from the jar. Now I just need to be more faithful with doing one layout a week. Thanks again for all your wonderful inspiration! ~Pam

[Jennifer Lavender]

Wow, what a great story of how the book came to be. I fell in love with the concept as soon as the book came out, but I was a recent high school graduate and all I scrapped were school pictures and hanging out with friends and other things about me, so it didn't seem to apply. Now, I'm a mother of two beautiful daughters, and I feel the same way some days; like I'm just a mom and have nothing left of myself. I keep telling myself I'm going to start a scrapbook that is all about me now, and not just what I used to be and do, but have never been motivated to do it. Now that I know you used your scrapbook as a way to encourage yourself and remind yourself that you are more than just the lady who cleans the house and cooks the food, I feel like I need to do the same. On days when I'm feeling particularly discouraged or overwhelmed I need to give myself permission to do something that is just for me. Thank you, Angie, for posting the backstory.

[Angie Pedersen]

Great minds must think alike on that Journal Jar, Pam! I actually offer a "Jar of Me" in my online store: http://burl.fergcorp.com/shop.onescrappysite/60969

The Jar features journaling prompts based on the popular Weekly Challenges in my newsletter. And sports a tag handmade by yours truly! ;)

[Angie Pedersen]

Thanks, Beej! (don't I have a sweet brother??)

[kristy]

Angie,

Thanks for sharing. Your backstory just brought tears to my eyes. thanks for reminding me that there is more to scrap...time to go home a do a few bom pages!

[kelly]

Angie...this may sound crazy, but it's a beautiful story. And the best part is, we all have one; each and every one of us. Thanks for writing about your story and sharing your moment of grace with us...
kelly

[Katie Nelson]

Thanks for sharing your personal story. What a blessing that you wrote this book. I have suffered from some pretty serious depression at times and scrapbooking is always what I turn to for comfort and strength. Thanks for inspiring me to value my own life story and include it in albums to share with others.

Katie

[Dina]

Great story. I have your book & have really enjoyed it! Thanks for all the inspiration!

[Angie Pedersen]

Thanks so much, ladies! I appreciate your comments, so much.