Sunday thoughts

Today was spent mostly on errands and home "schtuff" -- I really had wanted to get at least a sidebar out of the way for the MM YSYS project, but probably should have known better.  Ever notice how easily your to-do list gets pushed aside in consideration of other people's?  A number of the errands on my list were things my husband asked me to pick up -- he stayed at home with the dog and my son.  How did that work out like that??  And this week is Spring Break so I don't expect to get much done.  The sidebars are only 175 words, but each of those words can be like pulling teeth with distractions.  And I've been so distracted lately....

It's been hard to put my finger on it, this recent malaise I've felt.  I've wondered if it's because I have too many things on my plate, or maybe just the wrong things.  I've been pushing my books for 3 years now, and can't honestly say how much my efforts have actually affected sales.  I have a great publisher (who also acts as an agent, practically), and a significant distributor -- so how much have my own efforts through Challenges and my website  really made a difference in my career as a writer?  Looking at my royalty checks...not much.  Book sales hit highs and lows, but they don't seem related to my teaching classes, or my newsletter, or my posting on message boards.  Nor have my efforts seemed to help "get my name out there" as the 'originator' of the Me movement.  Doing Book of ME pages is getting much more attention, but most often my name isn't attached to the press that topic is getting.  I'm not really bitter about that -- I can't police everything related to my concepts.  I'm just at a point that I'm asking myself if my time is being well-spent, or if I should accept the royalty checks, and see how else I can promote myself as a writer, maybe through freelance gigs.  Do any of the "big dogs" in the sb industry wonder these kinds of things? Does anyone else wonder if their current track is the right one, or just one of habit?? 

Writing about scrapbooking is what I have done for the past four years -- how do I know when it's time to re-evaluate, or if I just need to promote differently, or if the market is too saturated with idea books, or...??  Are my books just a stepping stone, rather than the sum of my career?

I know I want to write.  I'm curious about freelance magazine writing -- I could do the assignments, but I'm not sure about coming up with all those ideas and clever pitches.  I'm looking into personal essay writing, particularly for the Chicken Soup series.  They have a number of forthcoming titles that might work for me. 

I also know that I'm not scrapbooking.  I haven't done my family's stuff with any regularity since 2000, when I started teaching at a local store.  It's been so long that now when I sit down to do a page on report cards or Halloween, I just freeze up.  It's sad but following this career path may have sucked dry much of my creativity!  or at least that's how it often feels.

Does anyone else struggle with these kinds of issues??

Comments

[ceo]

Angie, girl--I'm there, too.

In my case, it's a contract with an international publisher for a book related to my flagship site, OrganizedHome.Com. My blog is filled with similar rants, and my nights are filled with the same kind of speculation you're sharing here.

Does misery love company? Reading that I'm not alone made me feel better ... so keep your chin up.

And call me when you're ready for the virtual book tour.

[Christine]

Angie, I can only tell you that I think you are making a difference. I am beginning to see myself as a person, not just a daughter, mother, wife...etc. And that is due to you and your insight. You said you don't know if your books are the beginning or the end, but I think they are what YOU want them to be. Life is full of beginnings and ends, we have to chose which we want them to be. Yesterday my husband and I began to bridge a wide gap between up, making a "Pieces of Me" layout together....and that makes what you do, to this solitary soul, priceless.
Christine
Happy Scrappin'

[Molly]

Angie, I am right there with you. I have a lot of the same things right now. I feel as though, even when I scrapbook, I am not always doing what I want, but what my site wants, what this site wants, etc. So I am right there with ya!

[Deborah]

Angie....
Funny how life works...and how things "trackback" to each other...and now, here I sit - typing a comment to you that is relevant to my life - but had nothing to do with why I originally read this particular post.
I was posting on my favorite board, and saw this box at the bottom labeled "TRACKBACK." I'm fairly new at all this schtuff...and had no idea what that meant. So, the one thing I love about the internet is 'searches'...so I used Google and was linked back to your blog on trackbacks.
So to better understand...I came tot this blog on Sunday thoughts....and was pulled in.
To be honest...I don't know you as a writer (although I've been an avid scrapper since 1999). But, I feel the same way about busy-ness, business...and "life" sometimes. I've been a designer of women's apparel for the last 14yrs...and freelance since 2003. I wonder what direction is next - is my time "up?" Or was the first 14yrs. a transition to something different and new?
Anyhow...thanks for getting me to think about "where I am" and "what I am feeling"....I need to look at this deeper...I'm not satified in this malaise I've been feeling.
Incidentally...I haven't scrapbooked my family stuff for about 8 months...and I'm YEARS behind...this is soooo frustrating. I miss scraping...but feel guilty (like there is something "more important" I should be doing!)
Anyway...thanks Angie!
Best Regards,
Deborah (FemmeMode)