Today was spent mostly on errands and home "schtuff" -- I really had wanted to get at least a sidebar out of the way for the MM YSYS project, but probably should have known better. Ever notice how easily your to-do list gets pushed aside in consideration of other people's? A number of the errands on my list were things my husband asked me to pick up -- he stayed at home with the dog and my son. How did that work out like that?? And this week is Spring Break so I don't expect to get much done. The sidebars are only 175 words, but each of those words can be like pulling teeth with distractions. And I've been so distracted lately....
It's been hard to put my finger on it, this recent malaise I've felt. I've wondered if it's because I have too many things on my plate, or maybe just the wrong things. I've been pushing my books for 3 years now, and can't honestly say how much my efforts have actually affected sales. I have a great publisher (who also acts as an agent, practically), and a significant distributor -- so how much have my own efforts through Challenges and my website really made a difference in my career as a writer? Looking at my royalty checks...not much. Book sales hit highs and lows, but they don't seem related to my teaching classes, or my newsletter, or my posting on message boards. Nor have my efforts seemed to help "get my name out there" as the 'originator' of the Me movement. Doing Book of ME pages is getting much more attention, but most often my name isn't attached to the press that topic is getting. I'm not really bitter about that -- I can't police everything related to my concepts. I'm just at a point that I'm asking myself if my time is being well-spent, or if I should accept the royalty checks, and see how else I can promote myself as a writer, maybe through freelance gigs. Do any of the "big dogs" in the sb industry wonder these kinds of things? Does anyone else wonder if their current track is the right one, or just one of habit??
Writing about scrapbooking is what I have done for the past four years -- how do I know when it's time to re-evaluate, or if I just need to promote differently, or if the market is too saturated with idea books, or...?? Are my books just a stepping stone, rather than the sum of my career?
I know I want to write. I'm curious about freelance magazine writing -- I could do the assignments, but I'm not sure about coming up with all those ideas and clever pitches. I'm looking into personal essay writing, particularly for the Chicken Soup series. They have a number of forthcoming titles that might work for me.
I also know that I'm not scrapbooking. I haven't done my family's stuff with any regularity since 2000, when I started teaching at a local store. It's been so long that now when I sit down to do a page on report cards or Halloween, I just freeze up. It's sad but following this career path may have sucked dry much of my creativity! or at least that's how it often feels.
Does anyone else struggle with these kinds of issues??